There is an “I” in “Team”!

Two summers ago, I was convinced by a mom-friend in the school-yard to try soccer (see my post here). She convinced me that it would be fun. I was skeptical but I registered even though I had never played an team sport in my life. The last time I kicked a soccer ball was in grade two. I was terrified at that first game but what I found was an incredible world of supportive and encouraging women of all ages, backgrounds and skill levels, a new-found appreciation for team sports and the “beautiful game”, a fun and easy way to stay fit and some lovely abiding friendships. I’m going into my fourth “season” (two outdoor and now into my second season of indoor soccer) in the Toronto High Park FC. In fact, I think I’m more addicted to soccer than my kids. Talk about being a "soccer mom"!

Looking to expand my horizons even further, I asked myself, “What else can I try at the ripe old age of 42?” and the answer was... hockey. God knows, I watch a LOT of hockey with my son playing at a rep level this year (five times a week). Soccer mom...hockey mom... Why not?

Last year on Boxing Day, I traded in my figure skates for a shiny new pair of hockey skates. I have been skating for 37 years on figure skates so how hard could it be? It was not as easy as it looks. Keeping my legs bent and my head up was a challenge. I kept trying to use my non-existent pick on my skates. And using a hockey stick and puck handling? Ummm... It was definitely time for some lessons. 

First I had to get myself outfitted in hockey equipment. Unfortunately, my son’s equipment is too small yet and my 6’5” husband’s gear is far too big. I had skates, a stick and hockey gloves so what else did I need? More than you might think: shinguards, hockey socks (which are like knit stockings), pants (which I keep calling shorts because that’s what they look like), a jill (a woman’s equivalent of a jock- see what you learn?), neck guard, shoulder pads, elbow pads and a helmet with a cage on the front. I borrowed my husband’s vintage hockey jersey from his Dofasco Minor Hockey League days. I was exhausted just putting on my equipment! But I had to admit, I looked pretty good.

I’ve joined a group of other hockey moms in a “learn to play” clinic on Monday mornings at a local arena. Every two weeks we pay a trainer from Dominate Hockey to teach us skills and run us through very challenging drills. In the weeks in between we practice what we’ve learned and scrimmage (that’s hockeyspeak for a casual game). I’ll admit that I’m pretty "unskilled". My first week out, I spent a lot of time wiping out and trying to get back up. However with practice and determination, I’ve seen improvement in just four weeks. This past week I didn’t fall at all and I might have actually shot the puck into the net more than once.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be skilled enough to join a women’s league but I’m hoping to get out and play some shinny this winter while the kids are at school and with the family on weekends. I’m actually looking forward to the cold weather and I find myself counting the days until the outdoor rinks open up. No more winter hibernation for this mama bear!

Here are some things I’ve learned:

1. Surprisingly it doesn’t hurt to fall when you are dressed like a gladiator. That doesn’t mean that I’m any less terrified to fall.
2. It is harder to dress yourself in hockey equipment than it is to dress a 9 year old child.
3. Hockey equipment takes up a LOT of space in your home, especially when you have three family members playing on a weekly basis.
4. My 9 year old is so much better than me at hockey and I have a new-found respect for his skills.
5. It's amazing how much you can sweat on the ice. Hockey is just about the best workout I've ever had.
6. Hockey uses muscles you never knew you had- rib muscles, sternum muscles, side of the shin muscles, foot arch muscles, muscles in your lower arms and hands. It takes me a full week to recover.
7. It is much more fun to vocalize your efforts. I sound like Serena Williams when I shoot the puck. 

And most importantly:

        8.  There is a place for me in team sports!

Images © Treva Thompson 2012

Life's Great To-Do List

As I’ve mentioned before, I am a chronic list maker. I make lists of all kinds: grocery lists, packing lists, chore lists and especially to-do lists. I’m not sure if it’s just the sieve-brain that I feel I’ve acquired since becoming a mother but the minute I think of something to do, I have to write it down or I’ll forget it. And if I forget something then the groceries won’t get done, dinner won’t be prepared, that permission slip won’t be signed and the entire house of cards will come crashing down.

Did I mention that I put a lot of pressure on myself?

I also get an extraordinary amount of pleasure from checking things off. It’s a sickness.

But the one thing that I haven’t kept on top of is my “bucket list,” i.e. that list of life’s great to-do’s (get married, have kids, find a cure for cancer, etc.). I have a mental list but it always gets buried under the pile of the more mundane everyday lists. Once in a while, I get to cross things off my bucket list even if things don’t always turn out as planned.

Nearly two years ago, my husband and I went to Paris to celebrate our tenth anniversary and my 40th birthday. It truly was the trip of a lifetime. I had always dreamed of going to Paris, sitting in cafes, soaking up the culture and language and enjoying the food...and exploring the museums, especially the National Museum of Picasso in the Marais District. Forget the Louvre! (I hear it’s a bit overrated anyway, too big to tackle in a day.) I wanted to see Picasso’s personal collection of art in Paris. It was on my list.

Our last full day in Paris, we mapped out our final stops- breakfast on the Sienne, Notre Dame, Marais District, Picasso Museum, lunch in St-Germain-de-Pres, walk to the Eiffel Tour with a stop at Luxembourg Gardens. All went according to plan until we arrived at the entrance of the Picasso museum and found this sign:

The museum had closed a few weeks prior to our arrival for a renovation expected to take up to 3 years! I was devastated but vowed that I’d be back to see the collection when it reopened.

As luck would have it, the touring collection made only one stop in Canada right here in Toronto! Last night I had the pleasure of attending a special event at the AGO with my husband and having a private tour of the exhibit. Given that I couldn't see the collection in Paris, perhaps this was even better. I strolled through the neary-empty rooms, not a crowd in sight, pausing and admiring each piece of work, taking it all in: his sketches, drawing, paintings, sculptures. I was so absorbed in my own experience that I didn’t realize that I was the absolute last one left in the museum and that the security guards were patiently following me and my husband so they could lock the doors behind us. 

Did the exhibit live up to my expectations? Most definitely. And if I couldn’t see it in Paris, having a private tour made up for that in spades.

Life doesn’t always turn out as planned and our bucket list sometimes gets set aside by any number of obstacles that get thrown our way. But with some patience and an eye for opportunity, life has a way of working itself out.

Next on my list: Macchu Pichu!

Image 1 © Lane Erickson | Dreamstime.com

Image 2 courtesy of http://www.indulgedecorblog.com

Try New Things

Not long ago, I bought a fantastic print from Homesense called “Family Rules.” It is strategically placed above the kitchen table so we can refer to it often:

One of the rules that we talk about a lot is Try New Things. This applies to everyone. K could try a taste of that dinner she is turning her nose up at. M could try that dance workshop at school tomorrow even though she is afraid of making a mistake. L could try that new hockey skill he picked up at last week’s practice. My husband could try to cook a new dish. And I should also set an example of trying something new.

I have vowed to try at least one new thing each season. Last winter, I started my blog. Last spring it was soccer. I hadn’t kicked a soccer ball since grade two (and then I recall taking one in the face). But I squared my shoulders and got out there. Despite the butterflies (read: terror), I got on the field and just did it. My teammates were so wonderfully supportive and knowledgable. I was hooked. When the season ended, I immediately signed up to play indoor soccer. This past week, I finally showed improvement and received some kudos from women on my team. As I watched our Canadian women’s national soccer team play twice this weekend and qualify for the Olympics, I was inspired to keep going even if I’m not going to compete at any level but house league. In fact, I felt a pang of regret that I hadn’t started earlier in life but better late than never. Who says you can’t teach a 41 year old dog new tricks?

I have also tried my hand (paddle?) at kayaking and if there is ever any snow this winter I plan to strap on some snowshoes for the first time. Last summer I planted a vegetable garden. I am about to register for my second photography course and I continue with my French lessons. I attended a wine and cheese pairing course at our local LCBO (a fantastic Christmas gift from my husband). I am signing up for a Standard First Aid Course with CPR and AED with the Red Cross. This winter, I bought my first pair of hockey skates and I am looking at some “learn to play hockey” classes in the neighbourhood. (My sister-in-law take the cake at trying new things, however. She started roller derby at age 35 and after training, she made the team! She hadn't been on roller skates in years.)

As I tell my kids: take a chance, just TRY something new or you’ll never know how much you could like it. The world is your oyster and the sky is the limit! 


*A special note of thanks to my cousin Jenn who told me about this print available at Homesense*

Image © Treva Thompson 2012

The Lady Who (Sometimes) Lunches

Tomorrow is the first day of October. Where did September go? Here I thought that I’d have all of this free time to write once the kids started school full-time. Suddenly I realized that nearly a month has passed and I’ve barely come up for air.

The question I get the most is “What do you do with all of your time these days?”. It’s not an easy to question to answer but I honestly find myself so busy that the clock seems to move from 9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. in a nanosecond. The opportunity to do housework, laundry, groceries and cooking without kids underfoot has been refreshing. I’ve also found time to work out (somewhat regularly), volunteer at the school, install Sirius satellite in the minivan, help organize our local Terry Fox Run, start my French classes (with homework!), organize a street party, volunteer as a Sparks leader, finish training to work on Election Day and to do all the other little administrative things that fill my day.

The best part about being a SAHMOSAK (stay-at-home-mom-of-school-age-kids) has been the opportunity to catch up with friends. I will be honest here. I have become a “lady who lunches”. I have gone out with different friends about five or six times for lunch. A woman has to eat, right? And what better way to reconnect with a friend than over a meal you’d have to eat anyway! It’s hard to make evening plans when a spouse has to be consulted or a sitter has to be booked and we all get so busy with our lives. A break in an otherwise hectic or solo kind of day, midday get-togethers are made for this.

There are many many blogs out there that discuss the difficulties of making new mom friends. I used to worry about that. Am I connected enough? Do I have enough friends? Am I liked enough? I realize now that the relationships with the friends I already adore and the people that I meet with whom the friendship blossoms effortlessly are the women to keep close and the bonds to strengthen. If a friend makes me feel like I’m more of my authentic self, this is a friend to cherish. I am too old to try to be someone I’m not.

This is the part of my life that I didn’t realize was suffering from neglect. In a busy world of raising kids, tending to a family and running a household, it’s easy to forget how important these connections are. My friends enrich my life in so many ways. They are my sounding-boards, my shoulders to cry on, my fountains of advice, my standup comics, my pillars of strength, my partners in crime, my sisters-(and brothers)-in-arms.

And so to you, my friends, a toast! With a sandwich and a salad and maybe a beer. If this is what it’s all about, I’m thrilled to say that I am a “lady who (sometimes) lunches”.

Image © Melissa Schalke | Dreamstime.com

Confessions of a Soccer Mom

© Cathysbelleimage | Dreamstime.com

I am sitting down with ice on my legs as I write this. I am not tidying the house or carrying loads of laundry up and down the stairs because I simply cannot. Last night I played in my first soccer game...ever.

Registering the kids for various activities and schlepping them all over town to ballet, hockey, skating lessons, soccer, Sparks and Beavers (just to name a few) is something that I do with love. I make a concerted effort not to over-schedule our time, not only for the kids’ sake but for my own sanity. However, two activities each multiplied by three kids and a spouse who is often out of town makes mom a little nuts.

So I had a brilliant revelation: if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Yes, I confess. I signed up for a Women’s Over 19 Soccer House League on the urging of a school-mom friend of mine. I bought my first pair of cleats (black with hot pink) and my first shinguards (also hot pink). I arrived early to pick up my uniform and surveyed the other players. Most of them looked just over 19 and I figured that I must be in the wrong spot. Thankfully I saw the more harried (and older) moms rushing in after the dinner rush at home. Phew! My jersey is navy blue with red trim and I managed to snag my favourite number: lucky number 7. I was all set.

On Sunday night, I arrived trepadatiously at the field in the cold wind and rain praying that someone might have the sense to cancel the game and give me a week’s reprieve. They did not. And even with my repeated “I have no idea what I am doing” and “I have never EVER played before” my teammates encouraged me and still put me on the field. My heart was pounding. I was afraid of the ball (not a good start), the other players and generally of embarrassing myself.

Thankfully all those hours spent on the sidelines cheering on my uniformed kids on the pitch has somewhat paid of. I think I played my position (after I figured out what that meant). There were a couple of times that my foot actually made contact with the ball and moved it in the general direction to which it was intended. No one yelled at me for being an idiot or told me to get off the field (hooray!). And best of all? I didn’t sustain any injuries to my creaky 40 year old body. (At least not that I know of yet.)

Our team ended up on the winning side at a score of 3-1. We were wet and cold and sore but it felt good. The feeling of camaraderie was palpable and I’m looking forward to my practice this week (and the promise of beers after our next game). Instead of sitting on the sidelines, it feels good to be doing something for myself even though adding two or three more items is seriously complicating our weekly schedule. Once I am able to regain full use of my legs I think that it will be worth it in the end, showing my kids that I have a life of my own and that we have some commonalities. My kids can probably teach me a thing or three about the beautiful game and I can’t wait.